Monday, January 05, 2009

How a Reactionary Faces the New Year

I can readily be blunt about this because anyone who really knows me already knows it to be true. I am a reactionary personality. I respond to things. Put me in a situation and I can pretty readily adapt. Words like proactive and initiative sound fascinating and admirable to me but so does the ability to speak in multiple languages without skipping a beat. Now, I’m pretty good at keeping my balance when unexpected things come along, because, hey, that’s how I live. This would be an admirable trait in itself and fits my generally laid back personality. The problem is that I desire to be a leader in my family for my wife and children. I want to succeed at work and develop opportunities to open more opportunities. I’d really like to start being used in the capacity I believe God ha s created for me.
So, I face another New Year thinking that goals and plans are great, but I don’t really seem to have any. I have aspirations and ideas, but they have yet to take on a solid form. I guess it’s like watching my 5 year old son learn to read. He can read a book almost on his own using his sight words, but it takes him a while to work through it. It’s taking me awhile to work through this because I have not yet learned the language of being proactive, at least not to the point of not skipping a beat.
So, here’s some of my goals:
Start Thinking. Seriously. I’m an idea person, but I can’t think of the last time I’ve put effort into thought. I just veg out & my job doesn’t really require a lot of deep thought, though I’ll need to invest some more energy on that front also. I need to be reading and listening to things that will help aid this process. Specifically the Bible, which I believe should be the cornerstone of thinking. Blogs and books are also important (though probably the former since they’re free). Thinking, reading, listening always begins to develop ideas which is an area I think God can use me even though I have absolutely no idea how.
Start to get my house in order. My poor wife has had to put up with enough of me not leading. Of course, as previously stated, I pretty much suck at this and can’t expect God to start using me in ways I think He’d like to until this gets resolved. Getting our finances in the position where we’re telling our money to go rather than reacting to emergencies and month to month living. Having at least a somewhat regular personal devotion time. There’s a lot more, but that’s a start. I’m hoping that operating out of an area of strength (thinking) will help to pull me back in line with my responsibilities. There’s a connection there, but my thought process is still too slack to make the connection tangible. The closest proximity I can give is that I’m trying to pull myself out of a fog which will revitalize other parts of my life.
Paying down debt. That sounds like it’s tied to the last point, but it’s important enough to separate. Last year, from April – December, God blessed us with the ability to pay down $10,000 in debt. We still have $23,000 and Angela just left her job, which is actually a really good thing. I still believe He wants us to eliminate this debt as soon as possible.
Exercise. What New Year’s list would be complete without this cliché. Still, I believe it’s important because I’m way too tired for my age, and I think this would help. Besides, I believe the 3 areas of our life that a lack of self-control are so readily observed is in our physical health, our finances, and our spiritual lives. Might as well tackle all 3.
So, here’s to a year in which I transform from reacting to acting.